Confessions: Family pressure to have kids

Loading player...
Stacey and J Sbu received an interesting confession today. The confession came from a woman in her late twenties who revealed the pressure she faces at every family gathering, constantly being asked when she plans to have children. Overwhelmed by the repeated questioning, she admitted to lying to her family, telling them she cannot have children, when in reality, she simply does not want children at this time. She described feeling both guilty and relieved—guilty for the lie, but relieved that the questions had finally stopped.

Stacey and J Sbu opened the discussion to their audience, inviting listeners to weigh in. The responses were heartfelt and varied. Patty from Queensborough expressed deep empathy, noting that even after having a child, the questions often continue, shifting to when the next child will come. Patty emphasised that such personal matters should not be up for public discussion, highlighting the pain that could be caused if someone truly could not have children.

J Sbu admitted feeling uncomfortable about the need to lie, especially about something as sensitive as infertility, but acknowledged the intense pressure that can drive someone to such lengths. He pointed out that many people struggle with fertility, and lying about it can be a difficult choice, but sometimes it feels like the only way to find relief.

Another listener, Samantha from Richards Bay, shared her own approach to intrusive questions, saying she responds with humour or deflection, such as asking, “When are you going to die?” to highlight the inappropriateness of such personal enquiries. She and Stacey discussed how these questions often come from people who may not have much else to talk about, and how similar comments are made about weight or other personal matters.

Other callers reflected on cultural expectations and the pressure to have children, especially from older family members who want to see grandchildren. Some suggested setting clear boundaries with family, while others emphasised that decisions about having children are deeply personal and should not be subject to outside pressure.

Stacey summed up the sentiment by stating that everyone’s life journey is unique, and personal choices about parenting are not anyone else’s business. The conversation highlighted the importance of respecting boundaries and supporting individuals in making decisions that are right for them.
18 Sep 2025 English South Africa Society & Culture · Personal Journals

Other recent episodes

Your Big Walk playlist that means something

As we build up to the Suncoast East Coast Radio Big Walk, we’re creating more than just a moment on the Durban Promenade, we’re creating a shared soundtrack to it. I think we can all agree that music has a way of carrying us through, whether it’s that final stretch…
19 Mar 7 min

Who are you walking with and who are you definitely not walking with?

For the Kiddies Hotline this week, we’re tying it into the spirit of the Suncoast East Coast Radio Big Walk. We want to know… who are you walking with and who are you definitely not walking with? Are you teaming up with your bestie, your mom, your dad, maybe even…
18 Mar 1 min

Whose shoes are you walking in and how has it changed you?

There’s something powerful about this year’s theme for the Suncoast East Coast Radio Big Walk, Walking In Your Shoes, because it’s not just about the physical act of walking; it’s about perspective. It’s about pausing for a moment and asking yourself: whose life would I better understand if I walked…
17 Mar 10 min

Gone then back: A daughter's struggle with a deadbeat dad

A father who vanished for years has suddenly slid back into his child's DMs and no, it was not to apologise, not to reconnect, but to ask for money. This week's confessor had to take their own dad to court just to get help with varsity fees and even then…
12 Mar 10 min

Ziya Mohanlall : A cricket prodigy at just 14 years old

if you needed a reminder that the future of South African cricket is looking incredibly bright, this next story will do exactly that. At just 14 years old, a Durban Girls’ College learner is already making serious waves on the cricket field. Ziya Mohanlall, who’s only in Grade 9, has…
12 Mar 5 min